The truth is that for the most part, life is pretty good. I love my husband, he is a great friend, supporter, partner, and father. And after a year of some tricky medical health scares, our three children are happy and healthy. I love my job titles as Wife and Mother and Entrepreneur – most of the time.
But sometimes I need a break from it all. I don’t want my children hanging on me or asking me their thousands of questions – and I don’t want to talk at all – to anyone, including my husband. I think the reason why I actually relish my role of Mother and Wife is because I am okay stepping away from it all – it helps give me perspective and actually appreciate it all.
I was talking to a girlfriend last night (rather it was the first Me-Time I’ve had in awhile as Matt and I work together, share an office, there are children forever calling MUMMY GIVE ME ATTENTION) and my girlfriend and I howled with laughter and drank too many margaritas and at the end of the night I literally feel like I’ve been to mommy rehab. I just needed a break from the life I know. Take me out of my Mother Role and Wife Role and let me look after myself and it was amazing.
Do you need a break? How to take one:
Figure out what your Me-Time is. I also say out loud, “I’m having some Marissa time.” It sort of makes me feel like it is actually happening and also reminds my family that the rest of the time, I am actually doing things for them – and so this Marissa time, however long it may be, isn’t actually being selfish, it is creating a sense of balance in the world. (Maybe I’m justifying it but it seems to work for me).
Create situations where you CAN have it. If you are like any woman out there, basically the entire planet depends on you. You can’t leave the baby in the crib and disappear for 3 hours nor can you leave the kids at school while you run away to mexico. But make a plan to sort out a babysitter or your in-laws to cover for you or your husband while you take the time you need.
It can be 20 minutes (a walk around the block always does the trick for me if I need a little space) or a weekend with girlfriends.
Embrace the guilt. Depending on how much Me-Time you take, you might feel guilty – as us Moms are really good about making ourselves feel guilty. It is one of my own personal strengths (along with making rosé disappear in minutes). It is just part of it, but what quickly outweighs the guilt is the feeling of me time. The space and solitude and creative space and energy that comes with that all.
Think of it as a mini vacation. Everyone knows that you are more productive at work if you take frequent breaks… that everyone needs a holiday.
After last night’s girlie giggle, this morning when I woke up, I loved my husband more than ever and appreciated my kids and guarantee that I’m a better wife and a mom because I’ve just had a little break from it all. Might even plan another one tonight 😉